Fits and Giggles

I don’t know how or who came up with the philosophy of having days dedicated to individuals, or really what goes into actually making a specific day, revolve around a specific theme, meaning or person, but I do know I am very thankful to whomever for this specific day dedicated to fathers.  The philosophy behind this day, of being able to take a second, to stop, and let that father or father figure or figure that took on a important role in your life, know how much you care and have grown from them is priceless.  So let me take my second to tell you about my Dad, Gregory. D. Ashton. My dad has always had this silent-genuine-caring-ability about him. He doesn’t have to say much to let you know how much he truly cares, it’s just a way he is, that you never question his loyalty or motives, he would take a bullet for anyone in his family, and the fact that he doesn’t have to constantly prove that, is what makes him different. He has a calmness about him, and sincerit...

When I have an overwhelming feeling or experience or a mood swing-ishness I write, and explain, and publish, because it’s in all entirely freeing and it’s almost like a scratch you can’t itch, it does not stop scratching until you’re able to reach that spot, find some weird object that enables you to get to the spot, and itch the damn thing.  This is me itching and getting the damn spot.  Growing up, I always was fortunate enough to always have family around. I was never more then 20 minutes away, and was always able to make it home if I needed to be home. This was familiar to me, and I really didn’t know anything but.  What I realized was how much I missed this when I moved away, and wasn’t able to jump in my bug/s (if you know me you know) jeep, or whatever I was driving at that time and hop in my car and go to my grandma’s house to make applesauce, or go to my grandma’s house for stuffed shells, or go upstairs and simply sit in the same room as my brot...

They say, that turning 30 is a turning point in one's life. I say, THEY are correct. Dead on. Nailed it. I don't know if it's the dreaded 3 next to the Zero that stares back at you when you wake up on that day of birth, and look at yourself in the mirror, and all of a sudden have these flashbacks of memories that feel like days, that were YEARS ago. I don't know if it's the realization that you now have to accept that your 20's cannot be used as an exscuse as to why you randomly F up, or it's the fact that it's just a fact, that you are now in the 30 club. But something happened when I woke up that day, in Hawaii (not a bad place to take on the 3-0).  I promise I felt different, I felt almost at ease with myself, content in a way, everything felt okay. I then went on this beautiful hike with one my dearest friends, and there was just a sense of clarity and genuine happiness, it was in itself blissful. NOW getting to this day, let me tell you, the past ...

That Girl.. I realize there is no real pattern in this verbiage I come to document from time to time, no real category or train of thought I could pinpoint,  and basically is all over the place and completely chaotic and unaltered.  The reasoning behind this is because, SO.AM.I.  But, the gold in the string of master pieces I continue to publish within this blog is the clarity a few paragraphs can bring, and showcase where I’m currently at in this crazy life  I’ve been living. I really come to focus on what I’ve been through, what I’ve learned from it, and if there is any gem of greatness I can provide to the 2 readers (hey mom, hey gma) that read this.  I wanted to portray the okay-ness of accepting the current situation one is at and not altering and comparing oneself to another. This I would only write if I was truly able to grasp not only the importance but actually accepting this reality and attempting to practice it in my everyday life....

What many of us take for granted are the ones who don’t ask anything of us. Those that simply love, listen, and are there just because they want to be. The ones that give more then they ever get, the ones that nurture and support out of habit and simply disregard anything else but compassion and comfort. These types of beings are rare, irreplaceable and unique in every way possible. These rare beings have been defined and called many names, but most commonly are known as our mothers. I think one goes through phases and waves when it comes to understanding and figuring out their relationship with their mother, and I find it even more confusing when you’re a daughter. Going from wanting to be constantly by her side & idolizing everything she does, to rolling your eyes, locking the door, not listening to a word, to running back and wishing you were back by her side, listened to every word she said, and not taking any chance you get to be with her for granted. The understandin...