Fits and Giggles

  Sitting here, starring at my screen, figuring out how to portray what I’ve experienced and felt in the past few months, is hard. Its not hard because I can’t explain in words what I’m feeling, its hard because I’m not even sure if this is when I should share, explain, or try to release. What’s different, is that the feeling of numbness is still so present, it almost masks the true intention of the reason why I am writing, but, I have always felt that when I write I find clarity. Clarity is something I’ve been struggling to find, so any attempt that allows a vulnerability to show itself, is a method that I will never turn down. There is no intent of this blog to intensify any sense of ill feelings towards this human, there is no need to establish an understanding to those reading as to what the person meant to me, did to me, or even the brokenness they left me in. That is apparent, and that is brutal enough to process myself, let alone push anymore blame or ill intent into the...

 I want to start this blog out by saying, this is in no way a blog to shed blame, stir tension, or ask for sympathy in any manner. I am writing this blog in a space of empathy, and a place that I hope someone reading can relate, and in that relation, grow to handle ridiculously hard situations from a new perspective. My hope when sharing is always with the intent to shed light on the reality of situations, but also how you can turn something that may of felt hurtful at the time, into something you can take away and learn from and become a stronger person, because as we all know, life will continue to deliver tough situations, but it is how we deal and process that truly matters.  I was fortunate enough to travel home over the holiday to visit one of my good friends, family, as well as my favorite place of birth, EPA. What I was not expecting was to have an interaction with a friend of a friend, which had me being labeled as a Fat Ass, amongst other things that were all directl...

  SO its been a while, good ole blog of mine, its been a while since I’ve put my thoughts to “paper” or have honestly had the energy or felt the right moment to do so. This blog was started when I went on my first independent adventure. I needed an outlet to vent, to and engage with those I was far from, to try and not only convey the adventure I was on but to in a sense figure it out in a way of writing out my thoughts that were spiraling inside of this beautiful mind of mine.  To go full circle, I am so thankful for every self that has taken the time to sit and write, my posts, are unique, each thought conveying a different perspective, shift, time in my life. You truly don’t see how you’ve changed, grown, taken steps back, matured and fought until you're able to read past writings. I am thankful to myself for keeping my story alive, in every aspect, because that is what I feel I am here to do, what I am supposed to share. My story.  There are times that we are all sear...

  A little prelude before you enter the journey of reading the below, the awareness that I have, in being able to write this post, has come from hours and hours on end of really going deeper within myself. I’ve always been a reader, I’ve always had a yearning to learn something new every day, in a sense its what I’ve learned is one of the ways I ensure my happiness. My brain is the happiest when she (yes, it’s a she, do you even know me?) 😊 is learning. I think my first dive into the self-journey started with a You are A BadAss, which skimmed the surface, and from there I just continued the process. Through therapy, mediation work, journaling, reading, and reading, listening, and learning to other’s stories, I can say I am starting to skim the surface and really put into perspective who I am, and better yet, understand my past, reactions I’ve had and still have, and really start to attempt in putting the pieces together. With that being said, this significant post is a basic ...

A title that is short, sweet, and straight to the point. Now ovbiously we can be better, everyday, that we are living on this earth, and experiencing the day to day-ness, but what I want to call out specifically is in regards to how we communicate with one another.  We must do better. There are too many people walking this earth who feel as if they are not heard, seen or validated. Yes, all of these qualities, feelings, must be felt within, and we as humans are responsible for providing that sense of acceptance, and love for ourselves, BUT it doesn't mean that those that we interact with, get to drop the ball.  How many times, and be realistic, today, and stop and scroll through your text messages, or pause and ponder a call or interaction you've had thus far, have you interjected YOUR thoughts and YOUR feelings when someone was simply trying to share with you? Were you listening to the other person, or were you thinking of what you wanted to say, that happened to you?...

 I think it can be said that one can have many different perspectives throughout their life on certain situations that are vital to or are said to be vital to their existence while on this earth. Let's be clear on what I am referring to, which is love. The most beautiful but overly complicated free gift we all are given the moment we enter into this life. Actually, pause and rewind, we're given this even before we're welcomed onto earth by our mothers who carry us within their wombs.  We are born from and into love, yet if its something we all inherently get so easily and free, why is it such a top of discussion and in routine cases something we can't figure out how to receive and give? Now love to me personally takes on many personas, there's the love that I have been given from my family, which has always been undeniable.  There is love in a way that I have had for a friend, some deeper then others, but a loving supportive care of genuine reciprocated respect and ...