YaYa Sisterhood Sensitivity
So many chapters, as you can tell from the above, are consumed with rants, funny, sarcastic, full blowing out swear mouth paragraphs, which im sure the f bomb count will have my grandmas, one in particular, rolling her eyes, thinking abby...but this chapter is different.
I’ve been told I’m sensitive in the recent months.
This is something that wasn’t easy to hear, because I realized I try to come off as having it together, being strong, confident, not worried about those things called emotions. And let me set it straight, I am confident, I am strong, but god dammit I am sensitive. I am writing this to you, after just watching the YAYA sisterhood, now if you have never watched this movie, please indulge, it really just hits home, i think for anyone, and after you view it you can make up your own judgement about what thoughts or memories it brought back to you.
For me, because again this is my book, it instantly had me in tears, not only because I thought about my friends, and the tight circle I’ve created and held onto, but it got me to thinking about my mom. Now when youre young, your mom is just that, your mom. She doesn’t have a history, she doesn't have her own stories, she doesn’t have her own dream or inspirations.
Let me clear this up, she does, she always has, but to you, she is there to be with you, to help you, you look at her in a selfish way, a way that she never existed before your birth. What I realized, or have started to realize, as I get older, is that, that is not the case, at all.
This women who was put on the earth to raise you, also had her own story. She had her own embarrassing days at school, she had her own hurdles to get through everyday, she has stories, she has heartbreaks, she has struggles, and yet this was never on your mind when you were selfishly just seeking every last drop of her energy. I realized that yes, she is my mother, but she is also a person.
There is a scene where Sandra Bullock and her mother are on the porch, I don’t want to give away everything, but again my book, but her mother had dreams, she lost the love of her life, and married her second best. She went through a rough phase where she lost herself, and Sandra blamed herself for not receiving the love she so eagerly craved, she put this damper on that she did something wrong.
What really stuck, was when her mother, (ill look up who played her, but honesty the hottest older lady I've ever seen) Anyways, her mother looked at her and said, when I was searching, when I was hurting, when I was asking for more, when I wanted to dream and become famous but i didn't, I realized that my dreams, what i thought I wanted, I already had, and it was sitting in front of me, she is sitting in front of me, it was you.
Now that is in noway word for word, but this is just a realization that the dreamer, or what once was, was then dedicated to ensuring the tiny little being that was wrapped around her, would be okay in this world. Her world, was now our world. I think it’s beyond sacred, and special to have this in one’s life, I thank god everyday for the woman I was able to be raised by. What I think we have to remember as daughters, is that our mothers, are women themselves.
They have a story, and your not the only part of it. It’s about embracing the reality that one can dedicate their life to enriching another but can also have a history, dreams, and inspirations that will never die within them. She has been dancing around in her room, with posters on her bedside, she snuck out and was with my father, she had to deal with a father leaving her, and being raised by my insanely strong and beautiful inside out grandmother. She had brothers and sisters to deal with, she dealt with skepticism coming at her from multiple angles when deciding to create a life with my father.
She worked, she raised, she took on raising dogs because the kids were happy when they had a dog. She cooked, she cleaned, she held, she spoke, she led, she took her past, scrambled everything she loved into a jumble of growth, pushed forward, and made it her life. The books she read, the songs she sang, the concerts she saw, the tears she cried, the fights she had, the batons she twirled, the applesauce she made, the traveling she took, it all made her who she is, and still continually dedicates to be.
Its the history and past that made this woman who I call mom who she is today, and in all sincerity I couldn’t of asked for more. This is to you mom, I see you, I will always see you, and I will always remember you were you before I was me.
I’ve been told I’m sensitive in the recent months.
This is something that wasn’t easy to hear, because I realized I try to come off as having it together, being strong, confident, not worried about those things called emotions. And let me set it straight, I am confident, I am strong, but god dammit I am sensitive. I am writing this to you, after just watching the YAYA sisterhood, now if you have never watched this movie, please indulge, it really just hits home, i think for anyone, and after you view it you can make up your own judgement about what thoughts or memories it brought back to you.
For me, because again this is my book, it instantly had me in tears, not only because I thought about my friends, and the tight circle I’ve created and held onto, but it got me to thinking about my mom. Now when youre young, your mom is just that, your mom. She doesn’t have a history, she doesn't have her own stories, she doesn’t have her own dream or inspirations.
Let me clear this up, she does, she always has, but to you, she is there to be with you, to help you, you look at her in a selfish way, a way that she never existed before your birth. What I realized, or have started to realize, as I get older, is that, that is not the case, at all.
This women who was put on the earth to raise you, also had her own story. She had her own embarrassing days at school, she had her own hurdles to get through everyday, she has stories, she has heartbreaks, she has struggles, and yet this was never on your mind when you were selfishly just seeking every last drop of her energy. I realized that yes, she is my mother, but she is also a person.
There is a scene where Sandra Bullock and her mother are on the porch, I don’t want to give away everything, but again my book, but her mother had dreams, she lost the love of her life, and married her second best. She went through a rough phase where she lost herself, and Sandra blamed herself for not receiving the love she so eagerly craved, she put this damper on that she did something wrong.
What really stuck, was when her mother, (ill look up who played her, but honesty the hottest older lady I've ever seen) Anyways, her mother looked at her and said, when I was searching, when I was hurting, when I was asking for more, when I wanted to dream and become famous but i didn't, I realized that my dreams, what i thought I wanted, I already had, and it was sitting in front of me, she is sitting in front of me, it was you.
Now that is in noway word for word, but this is just a realization that the dreamer, or what once was, was then dedicated to ensuring the tiny little being that was wrapped around her, would be okay in this world. Her world, was now our world. I think it’s beyond sacred, and special to have this in one’s life, I thank god everyday for the woman I was able to be raised by. What I think we have to remember as daughters, is that our mothers, are women themselves.
They have a story, and your not the only part of it. It’s about embracing the reality that one can dedicate their life to enriching another but can also have a history, dreams, and inspirations that will never die within them. She has been dancing around in her room, with posters on her bedside, she snuck out and was with my father, she had to deal with a father leaving her, and being raised by my insanely strong and beautiful inside out grandmother. She had brothers and sisters to deal with, she dealt with skepticism coming at her from multiple angles when deciding to create a life with my father.
She worked, she raised, she took on raising dogs because the kids were happy when they had a dog. She cooked, she cleaned, she held, she spoke, she led, she took her past, scrambled everything she loved into a jumble of growth, pushed forward, and made it her life. The books she read, the songs she sang, the concerts she saw, the tears she cried, the fights she had, the batons she twirled, the applesauce she made, the traveling she took, it all made her who she is, and still continually dedicates to be.
Its the history and past that made this woman who I call mom who she is today, and in all sincerity I couldn’t of asked for more. This is to you mom, I see you, I will always see you, and I will always remember you were you before I was me.
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