Congrats, It's a Girl.

 

Whenever I have a trying day, week, weeks, I have become aware that the struggle I am going through, the days where I don’t feel like smiling, working, commuting, communicating, the days that are my worst days, some how are there, helping me, reminding me, and in small bits and pieces showing me spurts of insight, that leads to small growth, that is sparkle of hope, at the end of the mess.

Getting through the exhaustion, trekking through the tears, the anxiety, and the fog, is one thing that I can admit, I am not the best at, but it is something I am trying to understand and recognize, instead of doing the everything is alright notion, that everyone seems to be walking around with, because honestly everything is not alright, and I’m going to blog the f out of it.

A struggle I’ve had, the minute I stepped out of my beloved education cycle of life, was working within a male dominated space. I’ve been undermined, belittled, disrespected, talked-over, have had my physical appearance valued over my intellectual intelligence, and acted as if a girl coined as “pretty” would only be just that, and never equate to anything else. I’ve wasted 75%  of my 12+ career in the digital industry, listening to males speak their minds, boost about themselves, going on and on and on and on, speaking in circles, to speak, just to speak.

Bragging about their years as college athletes, bragging about their past careers, their money, their titles. As a female, you are taught to sit, and nod, and smile, you are taught to take the back seat, you’re taught to be the one to apologize, to not boost about your experiences, to always make them feel like they are in charge, because if you don’t you can be easily replaced.

 I have listened to bosses having to mention where they were prior, just to boost their credibility with new clients on the phone. I’ve watched grown men, who have no idea about the ecosystem in which they are running, create meetings just so they can speak, and create a space of fear and intimidation among those who he deems underneath them.

 I’ve had to constantly battle with men who I work with, not because there is an actual issue, but because their feelings get hurt, and are offended when a confident, intelligent woman, let me say that again WOMAN, comes into the workforce and doesn’t need their hand held, is not going to kiss their ass, and have been them told I am aggressive, I need to give them a few months, let them cool down, say extra please and thank you to them, go and shake their hands, give them the compliments they need.

And I have had it.

I have had enough of it all.

What I want to put out on this lovely blog, is the ask for woman to start bragging back. Brag about your achievements, when you go into those job interviews, start with the titles you have had, start with the projects you have led, start with the relationships you’ve made. Being humble, and kind, is great when it comes to your personal relationships, but is not something you should bring in a competitive workplace. I am over us as women being taught to stand down, keep quiet, not interrupt, and the notion that the males are looked at as leaders if they behave in a manner that is undermining and competitive. 

Why aren’t we leading with our accomplishments as they are? 

Why aren’t we speaking up, and interrupting? Because we are looked at as rude, emotional, and not in control?

That notion doesn’t sit with me, and I hope it doesn’t sit with you.

I’ve made a promise to myself, that I will begin to acknowledge every single one of my achievements, I will acknowledge that I am in the space I am in for a reason, it wasn’t because of kissing ass, it wasn’t because I was born with a biological body part that I feel gives me some type of extra self worth and credibility, but its because I worked my ass off for it.

I’m done with the male driven world, and I hope every woman reading this on the same page, and will begin to brag, over emphasize, interrupt, argue, speak up, and let everyone know why they are exactly where they were hired to be.

 

XO

Abby C Ashton