Bold, Brave, Beautiful & Body Shamed

 I want to start this blog out by saying, this is in no way a blog to shed blame, stir tension, or ask for sympathy in any manner. I am writing this blog in a space of empathy, and a place that I hope someone reading can relate, and in that relation, grow to handle ridiculously hard situations from a new perspective. My hope when sharing is always with the intent to shed light on the reality of situations, but also how you can turn something that may of felt hurtful at the time, into something you can take away and learn from and become a stronger person, because as we all know, life will continue to deliver tough situations, but it is how we deal and process that truly matters. 

I was fortunate enough to travel home over the holiday to visit one of my good friends, family, as well as my favorite place of birth, EPA. What I was not expecting was to have an interaction with a friend of a friend, which had me being labeled as a Fat Ass, amongst other things that were all directly in relation to my physical appearance. I have been fortunate enough to really not have these type of interactions to date, which makes me even more sympathetic to those who go through this type of verbal accusatory statements routinely, throughout their life, and now that I personally had to go through it, I have a deeper understanding of what this really can and does do to someone. 

I am grateful that I am at a point in my life, that I am so comfortable with who I am, and have developed a new relationship with my body, I can use what would of been prior, statements that would of probably had me in a deep spiral, to shed light on the opportunity to spin the conversation, of not only how we as females interact with each other, but also the way that we as females view our bodies and the society's way of deeming what we should consistently look like and drive to be. 

Our body is a beautiful thing, its constantly evolving, changing, repairing, to each situation we involve her with. There has to be a reality that your body will fluctuate throughout your life, and this is okay. There is a point of being healthy, having energy to be the best person you can be, so you can be the best person to those around you, but the constant pressure we put on ourselves to look a certain way, posting before and after pictures, praising ourselves when we hit that lb weight loss goal, has got to stop. 

The person in your before picture, is just as beautiful as the person in the After. I want to forgo these pictures, and if you want to post you, now, post it, but why ridicule the person who was in the before picture, the person who was standing strong to allow you to want to grow and become closer to your physical self. 

The photos I am posting below, is a clear example of how your body grows, and will continue to grow in each phase of your life. There are circumstances that contribute to not only your mental growth but also physical. 

The woman above, had the metabolism of the gods, she could eat, drink, do whatever she pleased without any worry of "weight gain". She was enjoying life to the full in college, figuring things out, weathering through relationships, and figuring out what she wanted to do with her life. 

The woman above, just completed her Masters, while living in London, enjoying every damn croissant, fish and chips, meeting new people from different backgrounds, traveling Europe. She was living, and not thinking about every bite she was taking, but letting herself enjoy, experience, and just be.

The woman posted above, may be looked as of what society would want her to look at, but what isnt shown is the anxiety ridden days she was going through, the miles on miles commutes she was making, living in the big city for the first time, the stress she put on herself to live up to her expectations of succeeding in the media world of NYC. She was happy, she was embracing the city she always wanted to live in, but this wasn't when she was the healthiest and closest with her body. 

The woman posted above is me, as of recent. She is the happiest and most confident she has ever been within her mental health. She is becoming the best version of herself. She is realizing that a woman of 35 will not have the body of the college girl, or the girl in her 20's in NYC mentioned above. She is at the peak of her career, taking on stressful situations with ease, she is learning about her body, and pushing herself outside of her comfort zone. She wakes up early, to make sure she meditates, and workouts. Although to the world, she may not look what society deems as the perfect body, she is healthy, learning, and thriving in a way she has never thrived before. 

I am writing this to show the path and journey my physical body has taken throughout the years. I am writing this to shed light that we are not only what our physical bodies appear to be. Each woman, girl, is constantly trying to live up to the norms that society puts upon us. We have enough pressure on ourselves, that we shouldn't ever be bringing another female down, instead lets use our words to bring each other up. 

Let's comment each other on things other then our physical appearances, because for the love of god, we are so much more then that. 

And for anyone reading this, regardless of what stage your at in life, if you run into a situation where anyone questions your beauty, it is no-one's business to put worth on anyone else. Remember that your body is a beautiful thing, she will grow with you along the way, and that in itself is something to celebrate. 

Beauty is not defined by society, beauty is only found within you and discovering your own self worth. 

Tell them you love them.

Xo-Ab