Fits and Giggles

Graciously giving and forever welcome Strength made from within, and felt throughout Crystal sparkles caught by the sunlight shining in an effortless rainbow glow Scents of cinnamon and safety with an embracement of warmth Feelings of captured memories, and marked ceilings with height Walls of mugs, placed by frames of familiar smiling faces Floors used for sitting and sharing newspaper holiday special ads Couches crammed, pillows placed, laughter shared Cans of Pepsi, bins of pizzelles, blueberry bagels Large open window opening up to a yard with a slanted hill Grasses filled with colored eggs and footprints of those who played Uniformed Goose perched, welcoming you in Rusted key placed upon the breezeway door Stairway paved with newspaper wallpaper, connected to a creaky rail Mattress of where she rests, next to bedrooms once shared White shingles, black shutters, small tree rooted Where she reads,where the light glows in, where we all go. My Grandma's House.

Once in a while I have this sudden urge to just write, write it out, with no real reason behind what I am trying to convey or say. Sometimes there really isn't a real message or a want to try and persuade anyone to read what I am writing or conveniently saying it in my own way of saying it.  I do think any post can be relatable to anyone in the way that they perceive the words on the page, and begin to hear themselves as the author vs reading someone else's thoughts. I think its because we are all living our lives behind the curtain, doing our damn best, but shying away at sharing, and allowing others to see who we truly are. This meaning our struggle stories, that for many, are never shared based off of the fear of judgment, and shame.  Do we truly ever know anyone? Are we ever truly honest with another human being about who we actually are, or is it just this façade of letting others see what they want to see. I read somewhere that there are multiple vers...

 Why is it that we always use preceding events in our life to try and define life lessons we think would be valuable to our future self, to younger generations, or to those who are actively seeking any type of advice to cling onto? What I want to do is to completely switch this notion of thinking, and not ask what I can offer to my younger self, but what my younger self can offer to me. When did we become so intent on thinking that the older we get the more we know?  If we truly look back in our younger years, in the years before we were taught judgement, insecurity, possession, greed, desires, this is where we can take the learnings we need to live a happy and fulfilling life. Our younger self should be standing in the forefront, waving all of the flags, shouting to us to wake up and remember who we used to be, and not be overshadowed by this inner desire to forge on with knowledge we think we've learned along the way.  This switch can cause a revolution in who we look t...

Irked, annoyed, but not shook. Why am I not shook, or surprised, or throwing a tantrum at my television screen (may have had a few ill words shouted at it this morning) BUT, why is my reaction so non-chalant you ask? Because we as females have grown used to the disgusting looks, cat calls, un-wanted touches, small smirks, full body scans we get on a daily basis. We've learned to value ourselves and pivot any insecure or un-wanted emotions that rise to the surface when we inevitably must deal with these situations, and understand it says more about the immature prick behaving like a hormone induced teen-ager then it does ourselves. It doesn't have to do with what we’re wearing, how we speak, the way we walk, or how our legs are crossed. The reality of it is this culture that we have allowed men to get away with every.little.thing. I mean it's like they have been given a hall pass to life, and especially when it comes to how they control themselves in a work setting with ...

I always like to mention, the reasons I continue to explore this way of expressing myself is because once my fingers hit this keyboard, everything just flows. Its like I'm pouring out my entire mental space onto this single piece of paper. There's no filter or rephrasing, I don't correct any grammatical errors, because there isn't punctuations in your mental health. If anything, its a massive pit of thoughts, words, ideas, images, jumbled into one large pile of insanity.  There's no right or wrong way to express. Where i find myself not feeling my best, is when I don't, so I'm here to just express.  I know when i mention Greys Anatomy, there will be a sense of its a TV show, and how can a TV show, made up of actors, make you feel a way but to me there is messages in everything we choose to watch, listen, breathe in, and surround ourselves with. However we utilize our time, if we look, you can find a message, something bigger then yourself, something that is ...